Finding your true identity

Finding your true identity

One of the all time best selling books is “Who are you and what do you want?” written by Mick Ukleja and Robert Lorber.  If you haven’t had the chance to read this book, pick up a copy as it is an excellent guide for helping you find your true identity and bringing out the best in you.

This reflection isn’t meant to provide a summary of the book or to even give you all the answers, but rather to take just a small except for you to reflect on.

“I don’t know one successful person who hasn’t had a share of fumbles, trauma, disappointments, strategic upheavals, and failures” – author paraphrase

What you see from where you are:

As quoted from the book, there are four perspectives that affect your performance.  These four perspectives are meant to work together to keep you growing.  When they don’t, you set limitations on your life.

  1. How others view you.  The opinions of others affect your behavior
  2. How you attempt to make others see you in a certain way.   This is an attempt at image management to control first impressions
  3. The way you actually see yourself.  You are your worst critic and see all your own flaws.   Rarely are we ever satisfied with what we actually see
  4. Authentic self.  It is made up of your loves, strengths, gifts, talents, abilities, passions, fears, hopes, and your true character.
Guy in blue shirt


Take an honest look at the difference between what you say and what you do.  Think back on your choices and decisions – the thoughts, behaviors, and actions that influenced you and got you where you are today.   And by the way…you are responsible for them!   By aligning your real self, your perceived self, and your ideal self, you can renew your life as more authentic and genuine, so that no matter where you are or what you’re doing, you’ll be confident and comfortable in your own skin.

These questions have been pulled directly out of this book and will help you accurately describe where you are and eliminate and shadows or fears that have had a hold on you.

  1. Where do I feel stuck?
  2. What truth about my life do I avoid exploring?  Why?
  3. What decisions and choices brought me to where I am today?  Do I see a repeated pattern or theme?  Would I repeat that today?
  4. What is my source of feedback as I explore these questions?

To discover more on becoming a true authentic person or to help enhance your character, visit us at Shawn Ingram Consulting.

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